HEED♥

♫ Monday, March 31, 2008 8:57 PM

HELLOH :D
AKU SUPERRR HAPPY.
Yest went for dinner at 2A wif family.
den go sheng shiong buy household things.
FAM,i still dream of one of u buying my Ben and Jerry sia.
HEHEHE ! xD
bus-ed home.slept.
woke up and get my lazy ass out of bed.
met nat and rif.headed for sch.
EL was alright.Science was superb.
Maths was the worst.
had test i knw im gnna flunk.really ):
Art was like gerek kaper eikaaaaa and atikaaah ?!
HAHAHA !u knw i knw ah sakk.
KABOOOSH ! i was boxing and almost kicking chairs.
damn u both ! xD
Joe rabak. (:
bell rang.got rdy for netb.
went off and bus-ed to Marsiling sec.
COOL or wht sakk netballers ku cinta ?
38-5.
&& i played well tdy ah ! hahahahahahah.
"yes thats the player i saw before hidayah.congrats on the returning of ur fire(:"
i was like.baek uh dayah ! (:
i knew i could do it.
&& yes coach,i saw the difference.
dun wry,i will nt stop working damn hard.
COngrats netballers ku cinta for the victory tdy.
let it be tdy,and forever ah seh ! (:
Aft match Boyf take me. we go wdls centre eat.
Boyf treat me banana split. den bus-ed home again.
Den boyf walked me hme.
Like always,he nvr stop understanding me.
I love you like alot okay boy ?
let what happened ytd be the past.
Its gnna work out.insyallah(:

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Sunday, March 30, 2008 5:28 PM

Keluhan hatiku tak siapa yang tahu,
Ku simpan semua sebak didada hatiku yang terluka,
Pernahkah kau mengerti caraku memujukmu,
Pernahkah kau hargai caraku mencintaimu.

Lafas dan kata dari bibir adakah ia dari hati,
Mungkin kau tak fahami maksud yang tersembunyi,
Titisan air mata dari pipi ke bumi,
Pernahkah kau peduli pada diriku ini.

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ 4:08 PM

DAMN,tht wasnt fun at all.

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love,
purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you Is to hold him
when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left him when I found him and now I wish I'd stayed
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired,
I'm missing you again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away I found you,
something told me to stay I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade

Slept late,spending the nite reminicsing.
looking at those freaking pictures.
holding the necklace close to me.
&& reading the things i wrote in my book of confessions.
all those things i wrote about u and me :/
then i opened my wardrobe and saw that shirt.
haha. ' same same but different.'
hahahhaa. (:
&& nw i wonder , wht should i do to it ?

Yest was quite a day.
A day i was rly tested and challenged,physically and mentally.
to have to hold back tears in front of friends and boyf.
i knw they knw.
met up wif friends at ard 530pm and headed to banquet for those who have nt had their meal.
boyf came and off we walked to RP.
Concert was great.totally wif TWO commentator bside and bhind me.
HAHA ! damn you both.
Mr Jack Chong was loved(: he totally made me teared inside.
and my face espression changed.
Boyf went " hey wassup ? "
i went " ntg."
and he texted me,thou he was jst beside me.haha.
" pls dun be sad.i knw whts gg on ur mind.&& i knw what and who ure thinking abt."
i turned to him and smiled.heees.
Concert ended and we took pictures before heading to civic Macd.
&& there i was.being tested like fuck.
nat goes " heed,u sit i buy for u food.go !"
" im fine.no worries love." me.
but at anoder sight,i lose control.headed to toilet and burst into fucking tears.
i knew i let emotion got over me.and i was weak.
sat dwn and boyf was like,
"dear,are u sure ure okay ? i dun tink so u knw.ur eyes are red.u wanna go sumwer ? i dun tink its a gd place here for u."
i jst smiled.i dunno wt to say to boyf rly.
there he was knocking sum sense into me,comforting me.
and there i was tear-ing. :/
Aftwich walked home wif yusuf,nad and nabilla and boyf.
reached hme at 1230am.washed up and talked things out wif boyf.den slept.

Boyf,i knw ive upset u in a way or anothr.
thou u din show it,i knw u were hurt.
im sorry for yest.im sry for hw i was yest.
like ive said,it was gnna b hard for me,for us.
It was nt easy for me to get over sumone ive been wif for quite a long time.
To have shared sum special moments,and nw to jst put it aside.
im sry i nid time.
Thanks baby for still being here for me.
" u cn tell me anything,thou it hurt me,i just wanna see u happy."
i was so much relieved to knw u understood me.
to understood hw i felt and wht im gg thru.
Problem is,idk why i felt tht way to see them.
idk wht im feeling.
&& baby,im glad to knw ure gnna help me make things wrk for us.
nt leaving me alone to wrk things out and being there wenever needed.
to be able to giv me the time i needed. to knw whts deep in my heart.
yet still being patient wif me.trusting me.
damn baby,for that , i love you.
i'll try my very best aye ? (:

Nat,u too.thanks for doing wht u could to comfort me.
Thanks for being there too wenever needed.
i wouldnt knw wt to do witout u babe.
loved(:

I cnt deny the fact i miss sumone/sumthg.
but hell,wht was i thinking ? :/
its true wht fyLOVE said.
dun move on wen u knw ure gnna live by old memories.
cse i realised nt oni it hurts me,it hurts anoder party too.
FUCK YOU,dayah. ):

GOD,let this end real soon.

Let the past be the past.
Let memories be memories.
&& Let the present be the present.
Cause ive had enough. :/

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Friday, March 28, 2008 8:48 PM

Let me see.
how long have i nt been updating ? you tell me.
haha.kk inside jokes.(:
so basically the week have been real hectic for me and others.
hav nt been havng enuff rest lor.
wif test .piles of homeworks. competitions and trng.
Im rly tired ):
Tdy is a day for rest and i shall sleep early ! HAHA.
SO match,won 1 lose 2.
cnt afford to lose ordy lor. Lose to Chung Cheng and YCK.
&& she say she sees a different player in me. rly ah ?
hah.i have 2 days to think and get bk to her yo.
Cnt wait for tmr event anyway.haha.gonna see ZH rock that stage.(:
Reflect !
Studies have been alright.
have to buck up on maths,definitely.
more revisions to be done.
Netball have been great wif gyms and runs.
jst love it.
Friends and GFs are always lovable.
basically,things have been going well for me.
I jst hav to balance my time and hav more rest cse im beginning to doze off in cls ! :/

&& i flipped into a new chapter(:

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Monday, March 24, 2008 8:48 PM

MAN U VS LIVERPOOL
3-0 la woi ! :D
Today monday blue kaperr joys ?
HAHA.seriously.today is hell of a day for me.
my smiles were stolen :/
Day started wif history.kept myself bz wif notes.
timelines.den Science was funn.
grpwork.was having fun wif ee leong.
HAHA ! we were criticising yest match.
we were talking hw badly anderson played yest and all.farnie sakk.
PE was cool or wht.we did high jump.
Den maths trail was next.had fun laa.
den CE was average.English was under average. xD
School ended.headed for quick lunch.
headed to lib for Cls Leader training.
it was fun la ok ! had lots of fun. it ended.
headed to see the interclass.den i went to the volleyball court to help out there.
i was daydreaming sitiitng on the rail la.
den best or what ! a ball hit my head.
lucky i nvr fall ! haha. it was arwis ball.
fish sehk ! den i jst sat dwn. talked to eika.
damn,thanks babe. (:
aftwhich headed to coffeeshop wif gfs.ate and headed home.
now im like moodless ok !

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Sunday, March 23, 2008 4:26 PM

DAMN,i need Gfs and ben and jerry now. )':

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Saturday, March 22, 2008 9:48 PM

TODAY IS LOVED :D
i spent the whole day wif Gf annd im lovin' it !
thank you nat.
thank you nad.
thank you farna.
thank you rifqah.
u girls are loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed dearly.
thanks for being dere.
Basically,i jst wanted to be out of the house tdy cse i din wan myself to sit at hme tinking of things i shouldnt thing of.
Its the 22nd and it brg me no gd.so i dcided to dis-stress.
In the morning,as planned,went for a jog wif gfs.
had so much fun laaa.den we did our own sprint test like hw coach made us do.
den we did sum dance.haha.it was like gerek la ok.
den were approached by mr tan and idk who soccer coach.
they said they wanna more girls for the girls team and asked us to cum for nxt trng n joined.
we all was like " HUH ? soccer ? us ? haha."
&& he went mcm phm " i noe u girls wanna play ball bt noone takes u in rite ?"
we went " ahh yaa.we have BIG passion for it.we will cum nxt week.god willing."
HAHAH ! busted or wht sehk ? like srsly.lolls.
kay so at 10am went hme.rested.
1pm met gfs.headed to the lib.did hw and crapped.
den headed to bugis.ate at ths shop across the street.
&& hell,the food was super nice ok ? aft tht walked ard and headed to city hall to check out sum stuffs. got tired and headed to esplanade to chilled.
had loads of cam whoring and jokes and laughters.damn,i had lots of fun.
headed hme and went to cwp Macd for an ice creaaaaaaam. farna and rif headed hme.
me,nat and nad walked ard pasar mlm.
walked hme.&& i swear the moon was effing beautiful today ok !
its jst diffrent frm otr days.bright and beautiful laaaaaaa ! i was like so crazy over it.
nat went " dayah,chill." LOLLS. i wanted to dis-stress u see.
So otw hme wif dem was hell of a confessing time.
i was blabbering abt my probs and all the thngs im gg thru.
blabbering abt confusions and my feelings. had sum advices frm them and i appreciate it alot gf.
srsly,im so grateful to have u guys by my side nw.
I knw theres a reason why god lead me to a path wer i met u guys.
&& i hpe ths last.cse i treasure u guys.
i should have knwn,u guys will always be there.
thanks alot for hearing me out.
thanks for spending ur free time wif me tdy.
thanks for helping me to dis-stress.
&& most of all,thanks for being there for me tdy,and always.
i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gfs.
&& you,im glad ure so back again.to knw tht ure there once again,my heart jst go,
" i nid ntg more,but jst my lovely girls and family."
&& i knw,im half satisfied wif life.im stl breathing witout a life partner yo.hahah.
i wouldnt knw wt to do if u lovely girls werent here.
today shall be remembered.

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Thursday, March 20, 2008 9:42 PM

How could I ever let him get away
Today is not a happy day
So many words that I had to say
Baby I miss you and I need your love
How could I ever let him get away
Today is not a happy day
It could have been our anniversary
I'll do anything to have you right here in my arms
Get Away - Avant

yeah yeah.
today is not a happy day.today is one of fuckshit day.
Started off with CE and i just follow the flow and goo ahh.ohh.ok..
haha.PE was kinda ok.ran despite the signs of rain.
it was cold ok ? me,nad nat abii ran tghr.
we came in 920 mins. cool or what ?
Ms gan was like " good effort and improvement.tdy u run fast ah.good."
me"u ask one mahh.."
ms gan " ohh tdy oni ah ? must everytime we run,run like this."
* beat me.
"weyy ! body cramped lehh !"
wah tdy alot of teachers beat me lor..
mr ben.ms gan.funfair or wht ?
den headed to MT.nat was struggling wif her leg.i was struggling w my stomach.
damn.i feel like dying sehh.wif the body cramps.ishkk.
so we were kinda quiet during MT.
DNT was fun ! oni one.lolls. had simple quiz and manage to ans all.
wen we were discussing the ans,mr loy appoited RH ans.
Mr loy " telephone and handphone is considered as one.so u lost one mark."
RH" wer got ! u see ah.HANDphone u use at hand..Telephone.."
Me interrupt " dun tell me u use leg ans ."
HAHAHA !mr loy was like luffing his ass out den said ,
"i like the way students fite over ths kind of stuffs.like couple."
both os us was like." wah sian."
hahah.den we argue like the whole lesson of dnt.
HAHAHA ! kk.
afterwich was science.had lots of fun doing experiment.
bell rang,got rdy for competition against Guanyang sec.
we won.23-21.
but we won by playing shits tdy.damn,idk wht happened to me rly.
1st & 2ndquarter,GK.
3rd,GS. 4th , sat dwn holding back tears.
like srsly,i was so dissapointed wif myself.i dinnoe wt i was playing srsly.
thou i converted sum of the shots and defended well , according to those who say it,coach was totally dissapointed wif me.
&& me too.well aft tht played a game wif netballers den did agility ladder wif roslan.had fun la.
aftwich me,nat,nad,aishah,atikah,P2 went to Macd.
so mr wahab otw.
Aishah " mr wahab,kite mcm lapar gituk sehk.tk lapar ke ?"
Mr wahab ," Ohh mestilah.nt balek sye makan."
Me " blanje ice creaaaaaaam ! " ( like no face liddat.)
AHAH ! den he gave us 10 bucks and we bought macd ice cream.
best or wht.HAHAHAH.kk so reached hme at 8pm and im dead beat.
slping soooon.
&& im soooooo lookign forward !(:

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Tuesday, March 18, 2008 8:12 PM

TIRED.
damn,school was anthr day of blues.
today i very very sad ! ):
&& gfs hav been sum sort of being quiet at certain moments.
wich includes me. ^ ^ that wasnt cool at all.haha.
so the day was started being a loner gg in the sch alone as gfs was late.
enter a cls wich was like a zoo. so i jst sat and read my book.
So homec was fun ! make jelly. not nice.
not i do oso.ms nadia.HAHAHAH ! okok. aft tat MT.
cikgu cum back oredi ! && shes pregnant yo ! dunno if rly or nt.
here it goes. ( translated)
me and nat " cikgu ! y nvr cum ? sick ah ? ok rdy anot ?"
cikgu " hahaha.cikgu ok la.bt still sick.ive been vomitting."
me * cheeky* " vomit ?! ainkk ! nat.."
me and nat luff our ass out.
cikgu " im pregnant.yeah."
me and nat " HUH ?! rly ?! congrats ! haha.okok.we b good dun disturb u in cls oredy."
HAHA.cool or wht ? hist was great.
one subjt wich keeps me bz like hell. den sci pop quiz. den CE.den go hme.
raining so intercls postponed.
Netball was ok.to the gym ! gerek or wat.
HAHAHA. played game and den go cofeeshop and head hme !
Ths thurs ferst match.cool or wht sakk ? damn.
ok done.bubye !(:

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Monday, March 17, 2008 7:02 PM

So today marks term 2 week 1.
haha.kay that was random(:
school was 50-50.tody rly,everyone had monday blues.
i mean everyone had no mood.but i was full of merepeks.
bcse i had to,before i start thinking of things i dun wish to think, :/
So english was alright.Sci was great.i just loveeee science.
ahaha.Music was an ass.cse teacher din enter and to keep the class quiet.
hell.i jst feel like walking out of the class and sit at the staircase.
hahaha.i aint no good leader ok ? :/
So maths was great ! I had soo much luffsters wif Ee leong ! HAHAHA.
Mr chen din came in and everyone goes , " YAY ! "
AHHA ! Ms Gan " like it or not , im taking over tdy."
RH " we like u ! weee !"
Ms Gan , *blushed " ya right."
HAHAHAH ! she was smiling ok ! den we had grp work.
And tht wen ee leong rocks big time.
HAHAHA ! i was talking to him about stuffs den mr chen walked passour class.
Ee Leong " go away la u ! nobody want u ! go home la ! HAHAHAH !"
i was slapping him to stoppit as ms gan was just bhind him.
"OI ! slap me for wat ?! " him.
"turn around and u'll noe. " me luffing my ass out.
"wat go away ? stop ur nonsense ah." Ms gan.
"waaat.really wat..i prefer u leh.HEHEHE ! okok.sorry boss." him.
ms gan went out blushing.HAHAHA !
i had one good laugh.Ok so art was next.
it was fun.haha.aft school went to adm macd and ate.
plus did our hw.went wif gfs.
den head home. yeah yeah.
&& now,ive to go to adm to buy mums medicine.
k done.(:

Oh yeah.got back progress file.
BIG DISSAPOINTMENT. ):
i expected oni As and Bs.
but i got 3as,3cs,1b.
say i set high xpectation cse i ought to.
say i did preety well , and i'll say bullshit.
say work harder , and i say thank u.(:
crap.one of the reason my day tdy sucks big time :/

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Sunday, March 16, 2008 12:34 PM

HELLOH(:
im sleeeeeeeeeepy la.slept late again.
but was awaken by my fren msg.my fren lost the adidas cup.annd he was sad.
Cmon fren,for u and ur team to beat those otr teams and qualified into the finals was
oredy an achievement.u did ur best din give up till the v end rite ?
&& uve scored a total of err 14+ tdys goals. For me,thats rly good enuff.
u scored the winning goals.For ur team to lose tdy,it jst mean wrk harder.
give up now,den ure doom.dun msg me wif that kinda msg cse thats jst nt u.
If u did ur best,than theres ntg to be sad of.(:
CHEEER UP boy.=D
Okayy so school is starting tmr.
Despite finishing my assignments,surprisingly,i dun wish to go to school for 12345... reason.
HAHAHA ! First reason tht turn me off , maths test.
damn damn.(: && ive been dreaming of ben and jerrry !!! ):
HAHA ! sumone's gonna owe me ben and jerry ice cream on the 15th of april ^^
HAHAHA !
Okay,so after days of scoldings by gfs and consideration and much thinkings,
im starting all over again wif me.im starting afresh.
i was stupid yeah i admit.fineeee(:
Yeah i realised i can be me huh ? Im enjoying single lifeeeee yo.(:
I hope ths rly work now.cse to have hopes dangling on a string,its rly stupid ya knw.
Wif gfs and fam and friends , its jst left wimme.
strong ? ah yeah.sheesh.
But one thing gfs,stop asking me to get tghr wif that boy.
cse its nt gonna happen or i'll have to owe sumone ben and jerry.HHAHAH !
naaah,jst nt gonna happen gfs(:

&& wen u readers enter my blog,read the introduction.
i found it sumwer in the net and im so in love wif the poem(:

Labels: RANDOM POST.

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Saturday, March 15, 2008 2:33 PM

HELLOH(:
so i woke up in the morning to face dad.
watever ah ehk.
Anw, PS , i rly hate ppl tryna scold abt sumthg but nvr look at themself.
terase ? diam diam.
i jst feel like gg rite at their face and say,"look at the mirror yo."
like srsly.damn damn damn.
so yesterday was anthr day in the lib.but i was bubbled ah.
went wif gfs and my fren.
Gfs said to mit at bts and shoes at 4pm but wen i reached everyone gave me a call to say they'll be late.so went to lib wif my fren ferst and the next moment,they reached.
cool or what ? so we did homeworks. we crapped around..
den i v restless and we dcided to go and eat.
ate at banquet.after dat went back to lib.nad went home ferst.
we saw mr roslan wearing smart ah . farna say " eee cute nye."-_-
HAHAHA ! disturb him and he gave me one look. xD
den farna and my fren played bluetooth.HAHA !
farnie sia.they snapped candid pics of themselves and sent to each oter wif different2 name.
Farna went " eh ! matbon amek gambar aku curi2 ! sape nik ?! "
HAHAH ! den she noe it wa smyf ren and they used ; nenekbon,makbon and otr names.
HAHAHA ! farnie sia.den the lib closing.we went off to pasar mlm.
den sat at civic centre. ate ice cream. take pictures.
den nat and farna went off at 930pm.
so my fren accompanied me to wait for kakak.we took more pictures and it turns out very farnie lor.den at 10+pm met my sis at int my fren went home.
me and sis headed to AA met famn for supper. ate and headed home.
slept late though.haha.(:

&& i wanna kick ass.

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Friday, March 14, 2008 1:26 AM

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Just Couldn't make you see it
And now its all left unexpressed

That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

hell,heedayah is such an toot today.
wat sweetharts will go " heed,emo or what ?"
HAHA.idk wassup wif me tdy,but i jst couldnt stop.
&& ths song was such an toot too.
i cried.look at the lyrics. :/
&& now,i wish to vent,to express all tht is in my mind/heart.
but to whom ? how ? i wanna write it here.
but i dun tink it would be appropriate.to sweetharts ? they gonna stop me from doing so.
to my book of confessions ? its flooded.
i just nid to let it out ):
cause i blif its killing me slowly.
&& now,i wish theres sum place secluded for me to jst scream the hell out of me. :/

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ 12:15 AM

HELLOH(:
kay tdy.woke up and got rdy for movies wif sweetharts.
ard 2pm went out met capt and took my hw.
den off me,nat,nad and farna to buy tix for step up 2.
enter the cinema on the spot.hehe.
movie was great la ok? the dance was like super cool .
&& im soo in love wif chase. damn hes cute yo.
farna goes gaga over the chinese guy . HAHA. grrrr ! damn chase.(:
movie ended at 530pm.walked around CWP den off for late lunch.
headed to macd civic.my fren joined since my fren havent eaten since morning wich my fren mugged at the lib. gendengs.
i vomitted like 2 times. ishkk.
den alot of farnie things happened.HAHA.
aft eating headed to lib to do maths hw. sweetharts went off early.
me and my fren cont mugging.my fren did but i was stuck doing a pathetic 4 page maths.
but mr chen make very tricky2 lor.but managed to do it okay !
wif the help of my fren.haha.
then ard 830pm headed to pasar mlm.walk ard den walk hme wif my fren.
since kakak asked to wait for her at 888 plaza,i loitered at tekong wif my fren ferst.
my fren dared me to walk one round at the track wif my fren.i was scared.but i accepted the dare.HAHA.it was dark for godsake.lights were off.
so since there was puddle,i played wif it to distract myself.
hehe.splash splash splash !
my fren splashed more at me la ! mcm thanks kape fren.
we ended up playing the bicycle-merry-go-round and shared ghost story.
i was like hell u lah eh ghost stry.hahahah.
played see saw den my fren punya baek,jump out wen i was up and cause me to fall.
cool or wht ? loll.
den kakak reached and headed to mit kakak.my fren went home.
buy food den headed home wif kakak.
prnts were early tdy.so washed up and started on assgmnts.
and nw im quarter thru.nt even half.haiish.
to do it jst make me go " damn u grpmates."forget it.nw im gonna fnish it up !

&& as i was listening to musics,the lyrics were kinda attracting.
and sum songs just have me sum flashbacks.
Like If you're not the one by Daniel Beddingfield.
aand the more i hold back,the more it came rolling down.
haiish.wassup seh dayah ?
idk.i tot i was able to handle it.i tot i was strong.
hell,now i see myself missing alot of things , including tht particular person.
i tot i moved on. :/

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Tuesday, March 11, 2008 7:38 PM

CHEEBYEEEEEE punya FUCKTAAAAAARD(S) !
pissed sak me !
1) grp members are running away from individual duties annd now i have to do it myself.
&& listen up fucktards,i'll make sure i wont adknowledge u guys !
like fuck ? i aint gonna care if ths assgmnt will be added up for mid yr and it means alot for u guys since u guys are failing !
Cse if it rly does mean fucking alot to u ppl,i will see efforts babi ! BUT U PPL LEFT ME ALONE TO FINISH IT UP FOR U GUYS TO GET THE FUCKING MARKS ?! oh wait,not finish up , BUT TO DO IT ! pukimak krg sials. not tht i gave u no time but i did.and now,deadline is drawing near,im mst do all by myself ? since u create inconvenience for me,u'll see the evil part of me.Since u dun take it seriously,den i'll leave it to u to dig the fucking marks urself.
Since u thought i was joking wen i say " send me ur part by monday or i'll send the email and disadknowledge u ppl."
&& since u ppl tot im the nice nice fucking negotiable hidayah that will pity u wen u say ure bz and hav no time,den let me state ths clear,
IM NO LONGER THT HIDAYAH THAT U CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF FUCKTARDS.
wts the point ? my effort ok sials ?
IVE HAD ENOUGH AH OK ! TO HELL WIF U FUCKTARDS !
ure not the oni fucktards that have limited time ok?

2)CHEEEEEBYEEEEE punya abg.
ur sim spoil ur problem la siak ! wt hav it giv u the right to take my sim away wen i was sleeping ?! annd nw that ure back,u dunn wanna giv me back ?
EH SIALS,its mine not urs la sakk ? pkai mcm tk berslh gitu ? kau punye kape ?!
UNTIL U DUN RESPECT ME AND MY THINGS,listen up fucktard,I WILL DO THE SAME.
i'll make sure.PUKI-

fuck.mcm thanks kn ive had to deal wif ths kinda ppl surrounding me ?
as for my grpmates,i swear i wouldnt wanna work wif u guys if it hadnt been teacher who chose it for us.u cn fuckingly gimme 1001 excuses ok ?
i was stupid den to let ppl take advantage of me,but i'll no longer be tht way.
im not tryna be mean,but it do pressurise me and pissed me tht all my effort,is awarded to u guys. ):

stress siaaaaaaaaal !

im sorry tht ths post is full of vulgurs):
i rly cnt control it.

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ 2:47 PM

Mcm cool or wht ?
headacheeeeeeeeeeee ):
who ask u play wif rain ? bengs ! kk.cool or wht dayah tok alone.
hehe.so woke up at 7am tdy.bathed and got rdy for sch.
met nat.miss herr la weii ! hahah.
headed to sch.headed to thinking hub for the SLA.
it was fun laa.esp mr ben's slide.
&& mr razip's.haha ! me and nat keep giggling the moment he pronounced the letter R. xD
but hell,it was effing cold la okayy ? lucky i brought jacket but i was still cold.
everyone was.so we were restless.lolls.
wrkshop was great except the fact tht mifzal was dere.irritating sia.
im srsly beginning to hate him.like rly ?
Aft tht went to Adm KFC wif gfs.
ate and headed home.here i am.(:

then there was frens pressurising me to move on.
&& i went, " i did ? Since the day he did.loll.ape je."
and they went " whos ur new bf ? PS tk blg ! "
and i screamed " move on doesnt mean new bf pe ! cn move on wif life jek pe ! aku move on for studies ok ! "
everyone went " ok.sorry.hehehe"
loll.idk why i screamed anw ? cse mayb , im nt rdy for andr rl ? or mayb,im happy nw.
deep down,let it be oni btween god and me(:
HAHAHAH !
kay F-ly,ths post if random :D

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Monday, March 10, 2008 10:45 PM

HELLOH(:
days back was a happy happy day followed by sad sad day.
SATURDAY.
quite a num of cousins turned up to helped out.
had lots of fun.
actually,i dun rly rmb wt hpn ?
wt i rmbered was dat me,kak fana nadia annd kakak played makeup2.
heheheh !
HEHEH.
SUNDAY.
was awaken at 830am.slept late annd had to wake up early wokay ?
so we got rdy things.bathed annd all.
more cousins came.
at ard lpas zuhur abg rzl side came.the guy cuz was rolling their eyes at abg rzl girl cuz.
HAHA ! rabaks.then i watched hw the tunang takes place.
&& nw im clear.haha.
aft the thing we all ate up the sweets and chocs ! haha.
ard in the afternoon,celebrate abg and liyana bdae !
as abg have had sabo-ed alot of makciks and cuz,evryone was out for revenge.
abg fairos crack-ed egg on his beloved hair.
abg amin slapped colgate+dishes on hes face.
and the kids put more creams on hes face.
HAHA ! most great sabo was bell's.
the sabo goes like ths.. bell gave him a prez wrapped nicely.
inside it was the box of xpressmusic hp.
but inside it was onions,berus dawai and rice grains.
HAHA ! he opened it and was like confident ah get hp but turned out otr things.
bus-third.xD it was great.
as night falls,we cleared the place.it was a great great day !
&& da tunang kakak aku..HAHAH ! in 2 yrs,i'll hav abg rzl as my bro-in-law.
HAHAHA ! insyallah(:
TODAY.
woke up and arranged the furnitures back to place.
den received news that atok zain motor accident.
annd was in critical state at ICU.i was ok.as in ok?
den i felt uneasy.nxt moment,first aunt koled to say he passed away.
speechless.
it was jst ytd tht i saw him eating.but for sure,he was nt himself.
sheesh.see wt i meant ? u may see a person nw,nxt moment,the person can jst go leaving u.
may he rest in peace:/
&& mama bought me the bag i wanted.
&& to get a new phone,i'll have to wait for 130408 for it.

im done.
HAHA ! soon soon soon !

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Saturday, March 08, 2008 9:37 AM

HELLOH(:
i woke up early tdy annd i cnt go back to sleeeeep !
i slept late yest.
okay lets see.beefore my cuz came,me and kakak did sum spring cleaning.
den wen my cuz came.we did more spring cleaning.
and den we watched pesta pesta pesta !
HAHA ! annd nadia and me was drooling over alif aziz.
like GAGAGAGAAAA,can i have him?
loll.hes super HOTHOT-cute yo.
kaykay,nadia will go,"jgn prasan eh !"
hahah.annd babynur was like dancing.cute sia !
den mama and papa came back.everyone was hungry.
ordered macd.&& babynur went " byeee.bye bye.."
wif her cute cute voice ! HAHA.
ate and watched tv.
slept ard 1am plus.
slept wif mama and nadia.
and was awaken by the tv on-ed for haziq.
nnd todaaaay,will be xpecting more cousins to cum !
WEEEEE ! happy happy(:

&& before i ended.
dun get me wrong plsplspls !
i had no sad sad rl.
i had a wonderful rl for the past 13 mth.
rly,wif all thos memories built and cherished.
it was all wonderful(:

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Thursday, March 06, 2008 8:52 PM

'Cause i never thought growing up would be like this.
days have been pretty bad and good.
School was alright except for the fact it was a very very cold day okay !
headed to sch wif nat.basically school was normal.
after school headed to yishun sports hall to watched the NZ finals.
&& how i wished we could like SS ! damn good la okay ?
went back to sch take bag and off to court.
played abit of bball and went back hme b4 6pm.
tryna not bring back my old habit yo.(:
reached home and slack on my bed.signed in to msn to received an offline msg.
and hell,it brought me tears.you noe i noe(:i was speechless la?all i could do was to hug dear teddy.den a idk whose num msg me?&& it was a definite wrong num laa.
it goes " Sir,pls inform ____ that i'll be flying to dubai speacialist hospital for a few mths.i'll be back." something liddat.
then i luff like hell.hHAHA.Sir kaperr ! hahah.ignored the msg.
just collected my file wich i forgot to bring back just nw frm nat.haha.
&& im sooo looking forward to sis engagement(:

Annd wen i looked at sis and abg rzl,i was full of envy.
srsly.they got into almost 3 yrs rl and are nw engaging ths sunday.
moving forward to the ferst stage of their rl.
from wht i see,their rl was full of fights,disagreement and arguments.
it was full of challenges wich they went thru tghthr and eventually,made them a stronger couple huh sis ?
Eventhough both of them were bz wif each oter tight schedule,they pulled through.
I knew they had ths understanding and trust btwin each oter.
i was envy on hw they were able to hold on and control their rl till tdy.
i swear,they dun mit now and den.and they dun have frequent late night talks like they use to.
but again,the stayed by each oter and pulled thru.
all i cn say is,congrats guys on ur upcmg engagement.
last long till u marry and giv me nephews and nieces ! HAHAHAH !
happy happy for u sis.i just envy that strong love u guys shared.hahha !
All the best(: annd theres no nid to be nervous. ^^

Annd as for me.Everything have thought me alot of things.
To treasure e love ones and not to regret oni wen they left.
is one of those things ive learnt.
i grieve over it for days.ive lost alot of tears night aft night.
i looked up to star gaze alone.and tdy,i realise,its all useless.
why am i doing ths to myself? i have a long waaaaay to go.
i have a passion to fight for.
i have 2 lovely souls to do proud.
nnd i have myself to satisfy.
Mayb rl wont work out for me.mayb nt nw.
mayb all mama have said to me was true.get my head to studies.
why havent i listen to mama all ths while ? sheesh. Piak-head.
and aft days,i realised theres lovely souls by my side every single days.
bringing me laughters and smiles.to comfort me wen im down.
damn gfs,i love you(:
&& i love bfs too.Damn EL,ZH nnd dear bballers.(:
&& belos,aku rinduu korang laaa !
finally,i found sumthg more impt than rl.-family and friends.=]
&& i knw i can receive the love the hug th kiss from them.from family from friends.(:
Lets just say,im beginning to move on wif life.
to be cool and understand myself better.to knw that studies is awaiting me to be serious for it.
i rly hope i cn start afresh and begin a brand new me chapter(:
&& im tryna stop grieving over things thats done.
imma stronger girl yo.(:

TO YOU,theres stl room for frienship(:
wif ths,pls dun get me wrng.deep dwn,oni god knows.
memories would be cherished(:
annd i hope u'll get over ths,ure strong.
i just knw it.

Despite those craves.
Quote of the day : i can live without you.But without you,im not me.

'Cause you're the best i ever had.

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Monday, March 03, 2008 7:15 PM

I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED. :/
coughing and coughing like noone business.
&& i realised i was one of the few wearing cardigan wen noone is.
idk why i was so cold,and i mean DAMN COLD.
i was shivering sia ?
P.E was great.did long jump and as i land,ms gan goes " good one hidayah."
HAHAH ! im a gd jumper la woi ! ahahha.
aft wich,recess.we have been late for recess nowadays for we dunno what reason.
and i walk in the hall jst nw like one big F nowing we were the last few girls.
HAHAH ! and sum pk diri big F girl stare me.
damn,the moment i look at her,mcm.ah forget it kay ?
Maths was next.got back test paper.
expected,fail.surprisingly,passed.
but dissapointedly,din score.
i got 28/50. frens say it was good enuff. annd i agree,to pass but not to score.
like oni a c5 ? mite as well d7 la knn ? MATHS TUTOR NEEDED.
srsly sehk.not tht i din study for it,i did.haiish.
but whtever it is,I WON ZH AND EE LEONG OK ? hahahah.
doing fine wif science.had pop quiz scored 7.5/10.
EL, made me cried abit and eventually into deep deep thoughts.
well,we had show and tell.
one of my clsmate who just lost her dad showed her family pic and shared hw much she misses her dad and all. i cried. idk why ? at first place, it wasnt my dad. sheesh.
den cher talks abt sudden deaths. and dere i was thinking abt alot of qns.
i mean u ppl mite be ard me see me luffing my as out,but wen i get out of sch,3 secs later,who noes if i get knocked down by a car ?
sudden deaths.wt if tht were to hpn to me ? sleep and die. and din hav a chance to say or do whats deep down. haha. and sum oter MEREPEK,i must say,deep tots.
haha. Sumhow, wen mdm adawiyah says ths sentence , i recieved lots of stares .
" its really saddening to lose the ones u really love. " and there i was crying ?
mcm wth sakk dyh ? loll.
after school , filed my ws.den around 4pm headed to court and sat dwn watched dem play bball.
i wasnt in a mood.sat wif ee leong.
he din noe hw to handle hes gf. gaga. adviced and talk to him.
and for the ferst time , HE THANKED ME ? hahahahahah !
den sat wif him and i suddenly burst into more tears ? mcm kenape sehk kau dayah ?
but b4 nad and nat goes " dayah kau asal ?jgn gini ah ! " i stopped. LOLL.
played soccer.nad fell and i think broke her arm.
sad sia ! i think i injured my ankle again wen trip from ee leong leg.
and theres a bum ! and sumone called me mrs mas selamat cse i was limping abit.
busted.hahahah.played in the rain as i walked home.
here i am now(:

i dont knw wht to do next nor do i knw wht to do to all those things. :/
TOTAL FAILURE.

&& i realised tht im slowly going back to being who i was.
i back wif my vulgurs.
i cn no longer have ths anger management.
instead of being rational,i oni think of violence.
im back to not going home straight after school.but i din lepak.
i just tend to not go home and play bball for example ?
but greatly,im not yet havng ths urge to go back to my old bad habit.
ive changed drastically from a bad girl to a good girl sehk.
it took alot of effort.
sumone guidance made it impossible for me to achieve it.
i dun wanna change back. :/
TOTAL DISSAPOINTMENT.

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Sunday, March 02, 2008 9:46 PM

HELLOHS(:
today is spent wif dear fy.
so long nvr go out wit her.
it was raining many2 so we took cab to yishun.
met the blogshop owner and collected things.headed to ljs ate.
bought tix for CJ7 and we miss interpret 1645 for 1445.
HAHA ! rabak ah member.
so we loitered around.go mac cafe eat cake.
time were wasted.den go in the cinema like damn early.
we like own it ah.den ppl started to enter me and her keep quiet.
HAHA ! den she basket ah !
take my fone,switch on music like so LOUD.
ahahah.den show started.
it was totally fun ! cute la the alien.
den wen the daddy died i cry.
hahah.kay shush.
after the show.headed home.
aft maghrib,went to macd bought dinner.
like hell.luffed non stop.
aft sum days,i had a real sincere smile today.
no fakes.haha.damn,im lost.
FY ! GEMOK is fine oredy ! (:
so must smile2 oways !
&& i seriously nid to study damn damn hard now.

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ 12:34 AM

the best damn thing ever happened to me.
and i noe and you noe that there wasnt anyone like u before.
like damn,wts wrong wif me sehk?
GILER is one word to describe me now.
HAHAHA ! kay bye !
PS ths is random.

Yours Truly,
Heed

♫ Saturday, March 01, 2008 5:42 PM

HELLOH.
i woke up un-usually early tdy.
adek and abg got up early too.after a particular msg,i got up.
washed my face,gorge myself wif food.
watched cartoon.till 12 noon.
nat asked if i would like to go 4 a game of bball.
i agreed.actually it was jst for me to relax laa.
met nad.we played sum game.
haha.den nat had to go.me and nad played A-B game.
den suddenly an army 20 yr old guy came and joined.
more guys came.we were just the 2 girls.
syafiq came down.
played full court and it was fun.
tiring too laa.then there was ths small kid,fast and accurate sehk !
not a single shot he missed.i was so envy of him.
the big guy was fun too.army-ian per.haha.
he told us it was hes bday tdy.me and nad goes " Oh happy burfday !"
HAHA. we asked , " nvr go celeb ? "
" celeb for what ? that terrorist oredi giv me a big headache ! searched for him 24 hrs u noe ! all that i found,MOSQUITOES."
HAHA ! luffed our ass out.
he complained abt hw difficult it was for him to tracked down that terrorist guy..
after the last game,me and nad headed to adm.
got myself vanilla oreo crunch.nad got herself strawberry milktea.
den we headed home.
and here i am.(:

we break and we patch,till idk how many times.
we tried to make things right,but it nvr did.
days of silence,disagreement lead us to anthr break up.
i shall nt say anythng.
nor shall i say i gave up.cse mayb,we were not meant for each oter.
mayb ure not the one.
wen all ths while,i tot ure the one.
mayb it was just a wishful thinking on my part.
idk why all ths is happening.wht went wrong ? wt did i do ?
mayb my best wasnt the best.confused was me.
i dare nt blame any party.cse all that i cn blame is me.
IT HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ME.
its all about ME AND MY FAULT. so yeah(:
Like u say,lets see wht hpn next.
so we shall.if ntg hpn,lets not turn back.
cse i believe,if we move forward,there mite be anoder wonderful adventure for us.
we dunno wats wrritten la kn ? so shall explore it.
if theres possibility,lets be friends.
WE TRIED TO MAKE IT WORK,BUT IT NVR DID.

Yours Truly,
Heed